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I was talking to a girly friend the other day - who was inquiring about my ex and what I missed. Missed? Oh yes... the wonderful road between Oxford and Caversham - where ex g/f used to live. I used to have a fast lithe car and I used to love that drive, especially when clear. There's one long uphill straight before some glorious twisties and I was making extremely 'good progress' up said hill on my last journey there when the Aston behind had to drop a gear to overtake me. They sound glorious when on full cam - the nearest thing to a Merlin engine.

"Ah!" says Susie - "that's the mark of a real petrol head." ?? "A Merlin engine will send a shiver up every petrol head's spine." And she's right.

I am pondering the meaning of relationships. Hopefully I will be spending 4 days a week in Dorchester for the next 6 months. Which means a proportion of the weekend will be spent washing and ironing and housework and back again. I may also get a 1 day a week consultancy in London for 3 months so busy, busy, busy.

Which will be good as I need and desire it. But where does that leave relationships? I don’t know. I have only ever had one local relationship since becoming single – I am fussy and I am not to everyone’s tastes. I just don’t ‘get’ people who want a relationship just because they want a relationship. I also don’t get the must be local thing, because for me the person is the most important thing. So having a relationship for the sake of it with someone, just because they are local – is a no no.

But err – the moving about a lot and the huge list of things to fix and do when our glorious summer arrives, doesn’t exactly give much time for dating or nurturing a flourishing relationship. But I was thinking - work away - come home - wash iron, hoover, dust etc... then drive 80 miles to see a beloved? Hmmmm. But there again, I saw someone for 2 years who lived in foreign climes and we saw each other every 4-6 weeks and I was happy. So maybe, or maybe not. Maybe I shouldn’t think of it at all. I was thinking of putting my profile on hold for a while. Maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I should just leave it up and see what transpires? Norrralot I expect.

I have definately got man flu. Have been sleeping for hours and hours and hours aching a little bit, runny nose and wheezing.

What's more the course of pills I am on to give up smoking says I cannot under any circumstances give up before the 15th. Which is stupid. Why not? I feel so disinclined to smoke it's not true. So a small packet of tobacco, which used to last about a day is now lasting 4 days. I will buy another one but I am damned if I'll force myself to smoke when I don't feel like it. And I don't. Of course that could just be the man flu.......

So you think that cleavage is the thing,
That’s going to drive me wild,
Or that little bump on your lower tum,
That says you’ve carried child?
Or legs a-long and wondrous firm,
And those silky inner thighs,
Your rounded bum a yummy pert,
Will fill me with wanton sighs?
And that those nipples proudly thrust,
Make my knees a wobble weak?
No – it’s eyes a warm with sparkling cheek,
That fill me with passioned lust.

There is nothing quite like giving a woman's bottom a squeeze. It's a lovely thing to do - sort of sassy without being full on and best when impromptu. It's also a great gauge for temperament - get a glower and - yup you know where you stand - as you do with a flirtatious smile or a squeeze back or peck on the cheek (facial) in return.

So ladies, 2009, buttocks beware. Got my mojo back and feeling very fruity and flirtatious.